"Playing" Coachella

Des wanted to spend a weekend with me, and the rain ruined all of my original plans (Underwood Farms and Huntington) so we played Coachella. How does one PLAY Coachella/Couchella? Glad you asked. You fire up the livestream on your TV. You put on your dancing clothes. You build a tent in your living room and put some LED lights in Balloons. You dance around to Sabrina Carpenter and Bleachers. You veto Blur for Jon Bastiste. You get a little bored during a DJ set and just eat popcorn in your tent.

"The Neighbor Tent"

I actually have a reverse parenting hack for you. I told Des we were staying up late to catch No Doubt's set - that's why we set up a bed fort in the living room. But we were already laying down by the time they came on stage. Des made it through like three songs before he passed out. Once he said, "Mama? I thought you were tired?" And I said yes yes, I'm going to sleep soon. Two songs later he grumbled at me, "Mamaaaa, go to sleep." I watched to the end of the set. Oli destroyed our fort in the middle of the night. But a curious thing happened LAST night. His Hatch white noise machine turns on at 8pm, but usually he is still eating SNACKS. Last night he was already bathed and his teeth were brushed. He retrieves his twenty minute timer from his play area and brings it into the bedroom. He puts it between us. "What's that for?" I ask. "It's our wind-down timer," he says. Ah. We read Bluey stories and when the timer goes off, he winds it again. "Now what's that one for," I ask. "It's the LAY DOWN timer."

I stay up late ONE night to watch a band that hasn't played together in NINE years and suddenly we have a role reversal? Anyway, it was kind of adorable.

Another funny gesture happened when we were eating dinner - I made lemon parmesan orzo because we love lemony foods. He took a few bites, chewed thoughtfully, then turned to me and opened his arms. Look, we give good night hugs and hello hugs and goodbye hugs but dinner hugs? So I said, "What?" He said, "I'm giving you a hug." While I was in the throes of said hug he explained: "This is so yummy and I'm so glad it's real."

I bought us tickets for Glass Animals in September

But I might take him to a show on Wednesday, unless someone can watch him for 2 hours!

Why I'm not at Coachella

What I remember about Coachella: Lush green grass, far away from the place we were staying. $7 pizza slices and trying to absorb everything. Sweat stinging my eyes when I was trying to get into Regina Spektor playing the main stage. Swaying to Amy Winehouse right outside the super-packed Gobi tent. Pool parties where I was supposed to drink but I hate drinking before it's dark out. Crop tops and white couches and if you pay my way and give me access to those couches in the shade I'll give you some superb sentences.

I hate paying for things in advance.  I like tangible things. I want to put my hands on it. Dig my bitten-down fingernails into it. Do we really have the future? That said, I have tickets for FOB/Paramore I think in June and Katy Perry in September.

I don't want the fuss. I want quiet, accidental discovery.

I'll babysit your pools. I'll maintain quality control on air conditioned dens. 

I don't want three hours of small talk or pretending to like that synth/dj duo because everyone keeps tweeting that they're KILLING IT.

You're killing me.

I'd go if I had a mission. If I had a budget. 

But there isn't anything in my cells that's telling me to go.

I've been reading that it's better to buy experiences than it is to buy ~things~. 

Take me away.

Team Winehouse

Some small things because Tony is all like, "You didn't write yesterday"

- I make better salads than most restaurants. Exceptions: BJs, CPK but we all know how much those cost SO give me some practice and a bigger kitchen and I'll get there

- Tonight my body was all "I need salmon" so I was like OK and I made a salmon salad with super greens and cherry tomatoes and honey goat cheese. You wish you were me.

- I'm watching Bates Motel without having ever seen Psycho.

- I have footage for three videoblogs to edit but I hate editing

- I hate getting Bumble and Bumble samples because I always REALLY LIKE it and damn that, can't they sponsor me?

- Despite frequently complaining about the speed of incoming information, I sleep with at least 3 books, 4 magazines and two journals in my bed.

- Tomorrow is like a marathon meeting day and I hope I can control my non-verbal communication but I really am nearly uncontrollably awful when I'm PMSing.

- If anyone wants to take me to Coachella to supervise their pools and listen to Soundcloud and HypeM while they're at the festival, let me know. I'll even wear your shirt and refuse to be photographed, if you're into that.